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Archive for the ‘introvertedness’ Category

Some time last week I read, “Up and Then Down” on the New Yorker online. Elevators have been in my life a lot more lately with this new job and the need to park in a parking garage. When I was working at the other location and using a parking garage I used the stairs all of the time. Not because I was freaked out by the elevator just that working in a smaller property you don’t tend to walk very far compared to the Gaylord Opryland. And I need all the exercise I can get. But in this new place the stairs seem to be for fire escape only and have an alarm on the doors. So, I ride the elevators everyday (and get fatter and fatter).

I had the thought today as my elevator car stopped at every floor on the way down and more people got on, “Would I rather be stuck in an elevator alone or with people I don’t know?”

Hmmm, that’s a tough one. Being an introvert I probably be just fine by myself. Especially, in the mornings. But, would I quickly descend into madness if I were stuck in an elevator with two or three other people who I don’t know. I might be alright if I knew them and liked them, but unknown people? This makes me think about the time I went on a twenty-one day wilderness trip with the school I was attending at the time; the program was much like Outward Bound with bibles. Considering my major was Outdoor Education/Recreation (the program was going through a transition from recreation to education while I was there), I had some confidence about going on this trip. The thing I wasn’t so sure about was spending 21 solid days with other people of which I didn’t know too well. Needless to say, I survived hanging out those folks but I really cherished my three-day solo!

Getting back to the elevator bit I must say that I could probably deal with one person. Over that I would go absolutely mad. Even more so if it had Muzak playing “Girl from Ipanema!”

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I can never get started. I have ideas of what to write about and on occasion I’ll write it down in my little moleskine so I don’t forget. But, then, I usually forget I wrote it down. I always have the notion to be disciplined about writing everyday. I wake up two hours earlier than I really need to just to have some of my precious introverted time which I could be using to throw something up on the screen. One of my problems, I believe, is that I read your blogs in my reader and thus, either, run out of time or lose my inspiration because you guys are much better writers than I.

My other problem is that I have a bit stage fright when it comes to people actually reading what I wrote. I really enjoy writing and I enjoy that you folk(s) actually read what I have to say even if it isn’t that important. But, it’s that inner critic or censor gets in the way of what little creativity or motivation I may have. I suppose it’s time to dust off my copy of The Artist’s Way and actually work through it this time. I started it almost ten years ago but never really worked through it.

I think that critic/censor won that round . . .

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I’m sitting here in the fine home of our dear friends, currently stealing someone’s wi-fi (thanks whoever you are!) and enjoying the scenery here in Black Mountain, NC. I have certainly missed this quaint town on the verge of being surrounded by gated communities spoiling the ridge tops of these Blue Ridge Mountains. I’m not really sure if it’s B.M. or just the area because we really enjoy Asheville too. Whenever the Elder Extroverted Holy One graduates I’d really like to be back here.

It’s not that we don’t like Nashville. We really do enjoy being there. I think it’s the community feeling that we miss the most.  As we pulled into the Ingles parking lot to pick up some wine* for our host family the EEHO saw and greeted three or four people she knew. I only see one person that I know when I go into the Inglewood Kroger every couple of weeks and that doesn’t guarantee they’ll speak to me (or me to them . . . what can I say? I AM an introvert!).

Just driving from one place to another in this place we have seen people that we know going about their business. It’s comforting to experience that kind of thing. In East Nashville it’s more like, “Hey!  There goes that kid who broke into my car last week!”  Definitely not the warm and fuzzy feeling that one gets from a small, mountain community.

I guess the one thing that’s going for Music City is that we wouldn’t have to pack and move again. Plus, the hockey team. Oh and the museums and concert venues. Add to that the fact that I have a job that is year round. Oh well, maybe we’ll stay. I swear to you out there in the blogospherical universe I will have seasons tickets to Predators hockey if we stay!

*It is SOOOOO nice to be able to buy wine at the grocery store and not some nasty liquor store.

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Morning routines in my house are an interesting thing (at least to me). I like a slow non-stressful start to my day. I want it low key from the time I get up until the time I walk out of the door to go to work. I wake up earlier than really necessary just so I can have some morning me time. Some coffee, some Mac, some blogs and news. Maybe a shower. Maybe some breakfast. Kiss the ladies and then I amble out of the door. The Elder Extroverted Holy One, however, loves her sleep. She’ll sleep as long as humanly possible and still leave the house at a predetermined time. If I am off during the week and get to experience this it just stresses me out and kind of ruins my calm morning off.

It starts out nicely enough. The Young Extroverted One will wake up first, usually, and is extremely cute and cuddly. Family hugs, family snuggles and then requests to get up and eat some breakfast. The problem with that is she is a sloooooowwwww eater. With the EEHO extending her sleep time this leaves very little time for the YEO to be a slow eater and have time to get dressed and out the door. By the time EEHO is ready for the day it’s all GO, GO, GO. Repeated names and requests to get dressed, to get shoes on, to brush hair and then out the door.

“Oh wait! I didn’t have my vitamin!” Vitamins are found and then taken. Walking towards the door . . .

“Oh wait! I need a sleep buddy!” “Alright, go find one. . . . Let’s go.” Hunting around the house to find just the right stuffed animal to nap with. Walking towards the door . . .

“Oh crap!” The realization that Kongs need to be filled with a treat and peanut butter and the dogs kennelled so the alarm can be set. Alarm is set and walking out the door and gone to their respective schools.

Whew! It stresses me out just writing it. Don’t get me wrong. I love to sleep. It’s just more important for me to have some time multislacking and relaxing before I arrive at that potentially stressful place that I affectionately call ‘work.’ That’s just how I roll.

In the end, though, after the whirlwind of my wonderful bride and the fruit of my loins leave the house I just have to smile. In all of their crazy morning routines they are both pretty awesome. I think I’ll keep ’em. And then take some Xanax and enjoy the rest of my morning.

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Well, not a whole private state, state of being or otherwise. Just a room. Where I can put up my hockey/green bay packer/beer paraphernalia and the Holy Elder Extroverted One need not worry about the general public witnessing that part of my somewhat man-ness.

I didn’t want to suggest the move upstairs. At least, out loud. But, this move does make a little more flexibility with a room downstairs and makes a little better use of space upstairs. This may seem like some sort of den of testosterone that I can escape to so I can feel more like a man and not a father/husband. It’s not. It is going to be more of a place to exercise my introvertedness (Like I need any help with that!). I don’t need to retreat from being a father/husband because I love being those things. I wasn’t much of a manly man before marriage and fatherhood so it’s not me trying to get those things back. I guess I need a place to decompress after a day of dealing with stuff/people at work.

I don’t get to climb the stairs (into my hole of solitude) very often because of other responsibilities and that’s okay. It sure is nice when it happens. Which is where I find myself at this moment. A much needed day off of work and home alone. I have things that need my attention but I have some time right now to do some chilling out, reading blogs and writing one. Not a good one mind you. More like blogorrhea which is more of a problem for you because you’re reading this. This is the fruit of my introverted den of lonliness. Enjoy!

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I am a morning person. I, however, am not a morning people person. I get my cup of coffee, sit down and perch my feet up on the desk and read the blogs that I enjoy reading.

This morning was a little different. It started out the way it should. Me + coffee + my mac + internets = introverted bliss. All of a sudden out of the darkness into the halo of my desk lamp steps the Young Extroverted One. Sleepy-eyed and bed-headed she silently climbed into my lap and just cuddled. That’s it. Sigh . . . now that is how I could spend my mornings for the rest of my life.

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